This year I sense the nudge of conversation being initiated around questions. One of the questions I hear being asked is: Why are so many women living on the fringe unengaged with each other?
I wonder if it’s because we’ve been stalking, conditioned to observe from the sidelines of our own lives for so long, watching the louder, more boisterous older sister’s side show. I don’t know if you’re like me, but it seems that with all that clamoring for attention, I finally bored, turned off the channel and started showing up more fully in my own life.
It seems I’ve gained the ability to tune in, be present and engage more authentically with others and myself, instead of yeah, stalking my life or others from the sideline.
Are you a stalker reluctant to engage? I don’t mean debate. I mean engage, relationally. Part of the sideshow I’m bored with is the debate. It never occurred to me that I would only love you if I agreed with you or won you over to my way of seeing things. In fact, if agreeing with me is the only reason you profess love for me, we are pretty dull indeed.
I want to live in the over growth of a lush oasis of color, not within a well manicured suburban lawn. I want to hear the noise of people (even when I can’t stand the chatter.) I don’t want to live in the sterile white walls of mediocrity, or conformity, where I close the door and shut you out. I want to continue being someone who cheers and hollers for all players.
I guess, that’s why I have always loved relational groups, showing up and doing life together. I can hardly help myself from attempting to start a new group. I crave engagement, over merely observing from the sidelines. Yet, I think many women don’t trust the waters and are reluctant to move away from the sidelines. I get it. It’s safer there. I’ve spent my time on the edge too. But when I see so many amazing women off in their own corners, I can’t help, but want to pull open their blinds, call them out into the river to engage and support one another. We need each other. We do!
I want to see women jump in the middle of the deep end and help each other swim. Sound scary? Do you have trust issues too? You know, we can’t get to the other side without just going through!
Don’t you want to experience women clapping loudly for others, and cheering and hooting and beaming at there own beautiful color bleeding into the mix. Don’t you want to share the brilliance and innovation you carry, instead of compete, hoard and hide?
Are you a stalker, or are you engaging?
If you’re a woman living in the Charlotte area and would be interested in being a part of a Women Supporting Women Meet-up group. Contact me at: Kimber@moxieme.com
Are you stressing out over the holiday season? Are you planning to strive your way through 2015 with a bigger “To do List” and grander agenda?
Why not sink into grace that reflects the wealth you possess, live and grow at your own pace, move into goal setting with the ease of enjoying the ride? Please accept my
100 Keys to Cease Striving and Enter Into Irresistible Bliss ebookas my gift to you this Christmas season. Get a little Moxie uplift and inspiration through this fun and lively ebook that will help you remember what this season and everyday is all about. Simply email me at:Kimber@moxieme.com with the subject line, Irresistible Bliss ebook and I will email it to you.
You can also print off my free Moxie Me Poster above as a reminder of what it means to own your beauty and to be a woman with moxie. I look forward to great things in the New Year in your life and in the lives of women! I hope you will join us in 2015 for the ride.
Wishing you and yours all the blessings of Christmas, a happy holiday and New Year!
I found this dandy sticker that says, Love to be surprised on a piece of junk mail and immediately rescuing it, stuck it on my bathroom mirror. I knew there was a message in the text before I even grasped the simplicity of it! Now I regularly stare at this little love note to self while brushing my teeth and putting on my makeup. I am reminded that I am loved to be surprised! Just thinking about the nature of love makes me giddy and sends me twirling!
The thing about love is that it goes beyond normal reality. Have you ever heard someone that’s fallen in love, describe mundane, rational thoughts or feelings? Love’s signature is that you fall. We say falling “head over heels” because we tumble over ourselves in the best of ways, so that head is no longer the leader. We move beyond our rational thinking and all it’s limitations. We return to being the girl or boy that believed the sky was the limit.
It’s when we return to love, that we enter into Love’s surprises and we enjoy the nature of surprise lurking beyond the lattice, watching and waiting to lavish goodness at every turn. Diving into the depths and heights of love we are able to move out of pain and disappointment, needing to “know” and needing to be in control. We simply bask in Love’s intoxication.
I love good surprises and I know that I am Loved to be surprised! Are you in need of a good love overhaul that banishes doubt and rationale for some overdue merriment and joy? Let the mere thought of being so fully, wildly, out of control and opulently loved cause you to fall over your head!
In 1997 the second year Christmas rolled around after my husband Bill passed away, my smart welding grandmother tossed out a new idea. Instead of having me slave in the kitchen for an elaborate Christmas dinner, we would order Chinese take-out. This idea became a family tradition that we continued to celebrate for years, along with serving up a smorgasbord of Hors d’oeurvre on Christmas Eve.
Now that the kids are on the West coast and I will be celebrating Christmas with my East Coast family, things look differently and therefore need to be reexamined. It’s been said that change is the only thing that remains consistent. To stay in sync with change, intentional choices must consistently be examined and exercised.
It’s important to look at your life regularly and evaluate what you are tolerating and what you would actually choose instead. Process the information in this manner:
Recently a friend asked me why I hadn’t been blogging. I told her that I was processing, staying away from “have tos” and simply engaging in living. Actually I have been traveling, feasting on love, preparing to introduce my new book to my ladies book club and helping to walk the women I coach into the expansiveness of a fully loved identity. I try to stay connected with many of you through my regular automated posts in social media and a sprinkling of spontaneous input (no, I’m not on Facebook and Twitter all day long as it may seem!) :-)
Previously I spent years striving to apprehend things off in the distance, following the model of other good strivers, exhausting myself in the cup-de-dac of behavior modification and fear of shirking some misled idea of duty with nothing to show for it but stress and exhaustion. I spent years in heartbreak clinging to what should have been, as it slipped from my fingers and off into eternity. I carried pain, but it was not the companion I was meant to embrace. Now I can’t imagine a greater reality than simply enjoying and basking in a fully loved life.
When we recognize God’s breathtaking love display in the here and now, the completeness of what He’s done and His overwhelming pleasure and acceptance of us, a transformational grace awakening can’t help but eclipse all of our zealous self-effort and the illusion of separation we sometimes feel. And that’s when we begin to live from love’s overflow.
If you are worn out, run ragged by a to do list taskmaster berating you with all you must work up, and if you long to jump off into the bliss of rest and joy, soaking in a fully loved and grace filled reality, join me in the grace filled life. Out of a place of love completeness vision and purpose naturally follow, but sometimes we try to put the horse before the cart and wonder why she can’t run. For further support contact me about coaching for the grace filled life at: email@example.com