I am convinced the reason we so often get stuck in life is because of shame. Shame is not often identified, or recognized, hidden underneath the recesses of our well-armored and perfected shields that work hard to deflect our fear of not being enough. Shame is a dirty word we’d rather skip over. We’d rather numb shame’s association, so we can avoid further threat of exposure even though it causes us to live at half-mast.
Shame has repeatedly taken me down, kept me in hiding, appeasing or defending even though I didn’t recognize that I danced with shame. The fact is we all do! I had almost convinced myself that I was as strong as my shields of protection expressed. I had it down until it bit me in the butt and my inauthenticity erupted in an unsettled incongruence, a deep soul thirst that no cloak of “spirituality” do-gooding, or meeting attendance couldn’t fix.
Raised by a mom with mental illness and an absent father, I’ve acquired some strong survival techniques. Losing my dear younger brother who took his own life at twenty-five serves as a constant reminder that though things might look tidy on the outside, they rarely are.
It’s amazing how simple life is and how difficult we can make it. Sometimes we act as if were adolescents grounded from our latest revolt and sequestered in our room. Sometimes we stay in that sequestered mindset feeling shortchanged, empty, forgotten and like an outsider, while life is overrun with the wealth of love, possibility and beauty surrounding us.
Sometimes I actually flip between being an “over adult” abdicating the joy and fun available to the feeling of sliding down the slop of adolescent captivity. Sometimes I forget that I am in charge of my attitude, my thinking and my perceptions.
Surely in a world of over 6 billion people, surrounded by the love of God there is no lack of opportunity. Yet our perception can cause us to feel a sense of lack that creates immovable obstacles in our way. When the reality is that the obstacles often lie within us.
Have you thought about what you want in the New Year? I’m not talking about the often-typical coach verbiage of outer goals and action plans, bigger businesses and greater bottom lines. I’m talking about the deeper things that are felt and experienced with the heart, such as: excitement, gratitude, appreciation, being in the present, heightened awareness of the senses, anticipation, hope, inspiration, love, and peace to name a few.
Should you be moving forward with an action plan consider the things that often get second notice. Yet, when these attributes are ignited, they spark everything around them into a greater flame. When they are absent blindness sets in to the wealth that exists in unexpected places.
If it’s been a while since you looked up from your desk, or pile of laundry and you’ve forgotten what excitement, or gratitude feels like, watch a child and you’ll quickly witness excitement over simple things. You’ll see love and appreciation for having the most beautiful mommy on the planet, gratitude when an adult sits to read awhile, anticipation for what’s coming and the ability to be fully engaged in the moments play.
This kind of presence means halting the busy work that’s an easy distractor and exit ramp named ‘avoidance.’ It means getting beyond the superfluous clutter and noise, and the striving after lesser lovers to hone in on the greater thing.
Do you face each day with the idea that you are broken and need something outside of yourself to fix you? Do you look for that illusive magic pill that will make you complete when you’re already filled to the brim with gold?
What if instead of believing you’re deficient you owned that you’re fully complete and have everything you need within you to live a full and thriving life?
Some things don’t need to be fixed. Some things need a whole new perspective.
What if instead of seeing the world as a victim, out of control, lacking and insufficient, you realized that you’re stocked full withGod’s utter wealth and brilliance. What if you believed you were absolutely loved to the fullest measure the way you are now?